Thank you for agreeing to have a
conversation with me. How is your ministry going, and what is it basically?
My primary ministry is
evangelizing, and it is going great by God's grace.
For those who don’t know you, how do
you carry out your evangelism? How is the Lord using you?
My ministry overall is
reaching out, encouraging, empowering broken relationships, broken homes and
communities.
I read your book, and I was like WOW.
Why did you write it? What were you hoping for?
The book was written to
encourage the down trodden and burden bound souls to be inspired to believe
again, and LIVE. My hope or rather my expectation is for people to leave behind
the grave clothes of being victimized and to take a hold of life and all that
God has in CHRIST more abundantly.
(Available on Amazon as Paperback and ebook)
I
noticed you did not hold back. You poured out everything. Were you ever
concerned about people judging you?
No, there
will always be haters having their own opinions but often truth is hidden by
the fear of rejection. But God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power,
of love and of a sound mind (in other words...BOLDNESS)
There are some
sensitive things in your book I would like to discuss. The first being drug
addiction. Some people say “just say no”, and that people who cant quit are
lazy. What do you say about that?
Often
people who have never been through my particular set of circumstances can't
easily identify with my choices at that time, but who among us hasn't had a struggle
with making the right decisions in some area? No one is exempt from mistakes
turning into habits, or turning into lifestyles, whether it be the woman who
never had a father so she makes a lifestyle out of sleeping with men until she
finds him, or the boy who was raped by his father and years later becomes a
full blown christian homosexual. I guess the adage is true HURT PEOPLE, HURT
PEOPLE, but FREE PEOPLE, FREE PEOPLE!
“Christian
homosexual” – could you explain what you mean by that. Many in the Christiancommunity
would object to such a statement,as they would say being a“homosexual” and
being a “Christian” are not mutually compatible
Christian
homosexual is an oxymoron I use to describe the confusion left in the soul of a
person reeling in sexual confusion, whose identity is askew with society and
liberal Christianity's proclamation that "you can live how you want and
God accepts us as we are" being their mantra of the day. It is to that
train of this Generations thought that I speak
I can
already see some reactions to your statement. Lol. You relapsed multiple times.
Sometimes you were doing good, then you fell. How did you pick yourself up and
keep going?
It is GOD
who makes the crooked path straight. He put a promise in my spirit that spoke
light although my heart was dark through hurt. GOD watched over me to perform
his Word concerning me, so it wasn't that I picked myself back up, it was, is
and will forever be His Spirit. HE doesn't know failure, the CHRIST in me CANT
STAY DOWN!
But there was something YOU had to do.
God is no respecter of persons. So if other Christians can't seem to work out
sobriety and you can, there must be something YOU are doing that they aren't.
Otherwise it would seem God favored you and not them. Or did he?
God has
favored my life, the word says He will show mercy on who He will show mercy and
He will show compassion on whom He will show compassion. That being said,
everyone has an opportunity to accept the yoke destroying power that JESUS
bled, died, and rose to give us access to appropriate. The ability to overcome
is in the appropriation of the blood, The Word, and obedience to the Word. I
got in the Word until the Word got into me.I have learned trials that come,
test the Word I carry, and when I pass that test my obedience is fulfilled.
Then and only then do I walk in freedom
Thank
you for elaborating on that. What about people who tried to use your falls to
judge or condemn you?
They who
are without sin, go ahead throw your stones. I HEAR ALL OF MY CRITICS, I'LL
ANSWER THEM NONE!
Lol!
Welcome to the club of dusting off irrelevant critics/haters There are closet
drug users in the pulpit, some claiming to have completely overcome
miraculously yet secretly using (for example the late
Zachery Tims). How would you speak on such a situation?
These
situations are tough because there is a demand of the lime light that causes
the participant to strive to attain an impossible standard of perfection. It is
easy to be a public success but a private failure - we must therefore broken
privately to stand publicly. Pastor Tims' passing is a tragedy we can all do
well to learn from. My condolences to his family and I empathize with those who
are silently wrestling and bleeding while leading.
You also mention in
your book how you were repeatedly molested and raped. For someone reading this
who is a victim, what would you say to them? You obviously survived, so there
is hope. How do they experience hope and healing?
To the
person who is being molested, raped and/or abused, (YOUR ARE NOT THE REASON, IT
IS NOT YOUR FAULT) the rest of your life can take a new turn. Seek help through
a counselor, church or friend. Most of all get out of that abuse relationship,
and forgive your attacker. Becoming free starts with forgiveness; staying free
means forgiving and sharing our testimony to help others just like you. The
word of GOD says we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the words of our
testimony.
We don’t often
address this, but what about the perpetrator? As someone who has been a victim,
what would you say to someone who is a closet rapist or molester?
More often
than not, hurt people hurt people. Someone who was a victim in turn becomes a
victimizer. I understand the shame of being stripped of my innocence and the
apathetic heart of victimizing others from my hurt. To those of you who have
these closet sins (or rather closet hurts) Jesus is waiting to take your
tragedy and turn it into His treasure as only He can..Jesus loves you with a
loyal love. He is waiting for you to lay your heavy burdens down so He can give
you a free heart and a sober uncompromising mind. Repeat this out loud:
"Father forgive my sins, I lift up my shame and guilt to you, and ask you
to change my heart, help me to know you as I never have. I believe you died to
wash away my sins, and you rose to set me free. So by faith I ask you to set me
free in Jesus name".
Amen indeed. That was
powerful, and I pray readers will make this prayer right now.The third thing I
want us to address is prostitution. You admit to being a street walker back in
the day. Did you ever feel shame or disgust while doing it, and how were you
able to continue?
Yes I felt
ashamed, that lifestyle fueled my addiction. I turned how I felt off by numbing
my soul, and slid deeper into my depression and hurt.
What motivated you in
continuing to do it all those years?
Hurt and
disappointment are a very toxic concoction.
Someone seeing you
now will go WOW, because you are so anointed and motivated for the Lord, and so
opposite of that person in your past. How did you go through the process to get
to here?
The greater
the call the greater the challenge, trials and opposition. God took me through
heart breaking things that caused me to cry out to Him, and as I submitted to
His will He broke mine. I grew stronger through reading His Word, praying, and
applying what the word says. This gradually changed me, as my life and
surroundings began to reflect my holy heart condition.
You’re happily
married now. Congratulations! Do you ever get affected by your past memories of
things you did?
Wounds heal
and close but scars are constant reminders of past wounds. It is just as
important for balance and grounding to remember where we came from as it is to
testify about where God has brought me to.
Forgiving
oneself can be so hard. Have you completely forgiven yourself? How do you
process it?
I have
forgiven myself, and yet it is not as easy to escape the distant aroma of
yesterhurt!
You never gave up on
hoping to be in a loving marriage. The several failures did not stop you. What
would you say to someone in a broken marriage, or has given up on finding
someone?
Wait on
GOD! God wants us to ask Him for a mate. We must wait on HIM. I was going into
my fourth year of celibacy when GOD brought my husband back to me, YES we
remarried after being divorced for 10 years due to drugs and prison.
Wow! That's a miracle
in itself! I'm going to segue into domestic violence. It can unfortunately
prove fatal sometimes. As someone who understands the fear and paralysis that
keeps victims bound, what words do you have for someone who has been slapped or
beaten by her partner?
Let me be
clear I DO NOT condone domestic violence! It is unhealthy staying in that
environment. Much prayer is needed to discern right actions to take, such as
christian marital/couple counseling or departure. No one answer is the be all
end all to domestic violence response.
We know domestic
abuse does not have to be physical only. It could be verbal or emotional. When
does one know they are being abused, and when should they leave?
Warning
comes before destruction. Everyone can feel emotional words that sting
mentally. I have left a relationship at the first glimpse of name calling.
While I don't suggest you (the reader) to take my response as their best
answer, I do suggest counseling and prayer to discern right decision.
How can
a person leave if they have no income or resources? How did YOU come up with a
plan to leave in the face of fear and a lack of resources?
I was fed
up and just left, I caught the bus to another city and looked for a shelter and
progressed from there. If they have no income they can search for a battered
women shelter in their city.
When you look back at
your journey – the dysfunction, the pain, the failures – what is the story or
purpose or lesson you draw from it?
We grow
from faith to faith to glory to glory, my glory is just getting started.
Hallelujah!!! Your
life is a clear evidence that God is able to make something beautiful out of
brokenness and failure. Can you share some words of encouragement for someone
who has surrendered to the mess and chaos in their life?
There is
hope, no matter how pathetic your situation is. After being molested, beaten, a
drug addict prostitute/user for at least 5 to 7 years of my life, God saved me
and uses me to testify on what He has delivered me from and how far He has
bought me. I am living proof that God has not abandoned you. I encourage you to
seek God until He reigns righteousness on you.
Any final words for
our readers?
Dear
reader, God specializes in turning chaos into crafted treasures. Christ died
for your sins but rose for your salvation, I pray that you will be encouraged
by me sharing my past hurt, addiction and transformation....Know that I am
praying for you and I encourage you to step out on faith and let God give you
freedom...God Bless
How can people
connect with you if they have questions for you, or need to ask or share
something with you?
I
fellowship with Victory
Outreach. My ministry name is SAY NO YO
COMMUNITY OUTREACH (contact me on how to join
or support on Facebook or Twitter)
Thank you having a
Conversation with me
Thank you
for the opportunity to share my heart. And thanks to my friends, family and
critics. It is my hope you will take the God of my testimony and make Him KING
in your heart. Thank you be Blessed
