Conversation with Pastor H Lee Joyner Jr

In this edition of Conversation, I'm actually having it with my pastor.

Where do we start? We stay in touch almost every day , so it almost feels mechanical to dial it back and be “professional”. Lol. Okay, lets do this.

For folks reading this and being introduced to you, who would you say you are?

I’m a son, brother, husband, father, musician, photographer and pastor who is loved by and in love with Jesus

When you were a teenager/young man, what was your ambition or dream?

My ambition was to be a R-n-B, Gospel or Jazz musician and producer.

Looking back now, the trajectory of that young man's dream to where you are now, would you say it was destiny, the result of prayers of your father and mother, your own coming to yourself moment, a combination of all?

Not to sound super spiritual, but when I compare the dreams of my youth against my current reality I can truly say that I am where I am and who I am by God’s grace. I chalk it all up to God’s  sovereignty and providence. The means by which God orchestrated my life has been all the above, my ambition, gifts, parental guidance, great teachers and the wife of my youth. BUT, God gets all the glory.

Speaking of your father and mother, you are a “pk” (pastor’s kid). We all know of that alleged syndrome of being a PK. Were you affected by it?

By the time my parents were involved in pastoral ministry I was well into my teen years. I would assign most of my foolishness to self discovery as opposed to simply being a PK. I would also add that being a PK didn’t make my journey any easier because of the magnifying glass I/we lived under as well as unrealistic expectations.

In your riotous stage of living it up, what were you searching for?

I was searching for me, what my identity was separate from my parents'. My father was the pastor, not me. I wanted no parts of that, therefore I had no idea who I was as a person. My whole life/identity had been wrapped up, tied up and tangled up in church life.

You just said a mouthful right there! Just like you were in rebellion to search for your identity separate from what was overwhelmingly trying to define you, there are people where the culture, society, family, nationality, race, religion, etc has tried to define them, and they rebel……but unfortunately are consumed in their rebellious search……

How far did you go in attempting to live it up?

Drug usage, profanity and being promiscuous were my strongholds. It was  through God’s grace working in my life over a long period of time that I was able overcome.

Did you have a Prodigal Son moment of coming to yourself, or were you just organically transitioned onto the straight and narrow path?

I never  had the "Apostle Paul being knocked off his beast" moment. My experience was what I now identify as living under the “wrath of God”. Having that constant gnawing  in my soul that there has to be more to life than what I was experiencing. I was very dissatisfied with everything. Now I know that God was wooing me through my restlessness.

As far as the straight and narrow path, I grew up in a christian home and had always been familiar with it, and had appreciated it for the structure it gave. But being captured by God’s grace unlocked the meaning, beauty and glory to being on the straight and narrow path.

How long have you been a pastor now?

I’ve been in pastoral ministry for 20 years and a Lead Pastor for five years.

You are a man with a carnal nature; how did you process and handle the memories of the fun times of the good old days in the beginning of your transition onto the straight and narrow path? (I know we Christians like to masquerade around like the world never had any fun, and when we changed lanes, it was all glory and khumbaya)

To be brutally forthwith, I thoroughly enjoyed almost every moment of my sinful and youthful lifestyle while I was in it. Two things have to be considered though:

1.) My sin-filled days were mostly my youthful days. Much of the buffoonery I participated in as a young man, simply had no place in nor value to the mature man I was becoming. 

2.) God caused much of what was back there to betray me thereby removing any angst in me to re-live that life.

Now, every day I go to war with the sin that is in my life due the brokenness of humanity. Part of this is that in my flesh lives no good thing. The other part is warring against the gateways I knowingly and unknowingly opened.

 I am thankful and have great appreciation for Apostle Paul’s words in Romans 7:24-25a - “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

I know this next question is going to almost sound self indulgent, but what makes you different from the next passionate and anointed pastor down the street?

I have no idea. Someone else would need to answer this question, sorry.

I’m a man who has placed his highest affection upon Him who has infinite strength, infinite beauty , infinite joy and infinite love. My highest goal is to glorify God, walk in His joy and lead others into His joy. I am biblically formed. I understand the gospel, the beauty of the cross and the practical working of God’s grace in our lives.

The summary of the ministry of which I’m a steward can be found in 2 Corinthians 1:24 (ESV) where Paul says, “Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, for you stand firm in your faith.”

When you initially became my pastor, we once had a moment of conflict. Hahaha! I know I can be obstinate and opinionated. How did you over look that in still ministering to me?

I didn’t overlook it. I knew the very first moment you walked in the door that you were assigned to Impact DMV Church by our Sovereign Savior. Our conflict gave me clarity early on how you could be reached and cared for. PLUS I love you brother and that’s what love looks like.

Recently, I went through a relapse in depression and isolated myself. I maintained the façade of everything being fine, but I was isolating. Somehow you were inconveniently and annoyingly consistent in reaching out to me, until you pierced the façade I had thrown up. What made you committed in your persistence? You are not superhuman after all, but flesh and blood.

1.) I love deeply those whom God loves deeply, YOU! 

2.) By God’s grace I knew/know that God placed you with Impact DMV because your best chance of you being conformed to the image of His Son Jesus Christ is with us.  

3.) There was no way what you were saying to me about “being fine” was true. You had been too faithful and exuberant in God’s work to shrink back and be okay with it. I knew something was wrong.

In light of this, what would you say to passionate Christians who are reaching out in ministry, but the person they are reaching out to isn’t very welcoming of their advances?

If “God” has placed someone in your life to care for, encourage or to simply love on, unless God removes his grace to do so, NEVER GIVE UP ON THEM. There are way too many throw-way wounded  saints. True love NEVER fails.

Also, we have to be careful because God’s timing is everything. Many times church folks (we), out of our zeal, try to move people where we think they should be sooner than God is ready to take them there. That push frequently results is what we call “church hurts”. That constant pressure to “do”  without an overarching theme of what Christ has“done” results in shame and guilt in those we’re trying to help, and frustration in us. That is the perfect storm for a "church hurt." This is why 2 Corinthians 1:24 (ESV) is so important to me, “Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy…”.

I have been transparent with you. I know no other way of existence but being authentic in my living, both in the good, bad and ugly (sometimes to my detriment. Hahaha!). Why haven’t you been like traditional pastors and hopped onto something I unveil to you, and combat me with the word? I wont lie, sometimes I tried to bait you into a fight – keeping it real.

None of the acting out is ever the “real”. The issue is always simply believing the gospel. The double impartation of the gospel is this: He takes are filth and gives us His righteousness now , and we are made complete in Him. We have His shalom.

My job as a pastor is to help you think rightly about and see God clearly. Apostle Paul says in Colossians 1:21 that our alienation (which the gospel remedies) from God leads to rebellious thoughts that result in evil deeds. Too often we pastors start with the evil deeds as though moral behavior is the goal. Reconciliation to the Father is the goal… that is always going to be what drives me.

Overall, what would you advice pastors in today’s world having to minister to people dealing with 21^st Century issues?

Make the gospel paramount and not cultural issues! Know the gospel, believe the gospel for yourself, preach the gospel with authority and see God’s people through the eye of the gospel.

Where do you see yourself in 5 and 10 years?

Over the next 10 years “my goal” is to transition Impact DMV Church from a pattern of growth to a pattern of multiplication. We want to plant healthy gospel centered churches throughout the DMV and beyond for the praise and exhortation of God’s name ONLY! The implications of this are massive and will definitely require God’s grace and guidance in equipping leaders for this work.

Before I forget, how were you able to “give up” on your music career? I see you sometimes in church hopping on the keyboard during certain worship songs. So yeah, the bite of the music bug is in your system. How did you give up on it without feeling a sense of loss? Or is there some sense of loss?

I LOVE music and it will always play a part in my life and ministry. In terms of perspective though, I see music as a gift God used to keep me grounded in church till He captured my heart. Yes, I sing and play every now and then but it is no longer my primary ministry and I do not begrudge the transition from music to teaching/preaching.

I cant have an interview of you and not ask about your family. Care to make your boast in the family God has blessed you with?

I’m blessed to be married to the wife of my youth, Carmen Joyner, for 30 years! She is the mother of all my biological children; Demetrea Loren, Henry Lee-Michael III, and Caleb Isaiah. All actively involved at Impact DMV Church.

I also have a goddaughter, Shana Morrison, who has been a daughter to me since she was 8 years old. She and her husband John and my two beautiful grandchildren now reside in South Carolina and are actively involved in worship ministry at their church.

Last but not least, I am also blessed to have my parents and mentors, Bishop Henry and Carolyn Joyner, actively involved in the ministry!

Alright Pastor, we did this thing. Any parting words for the readers?

I would like to thank you my brother for this opportunity to introduce myself the your audience as well as the wonderful questions asked!

Connect with Pastor H Lee Joyner Jr on FACEBOOK

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